The first thing I did was to start back at the gym. My favourite thing to do is dance. I may not be able to do much because of my disability. But went to my first "Les Mills Bodyjam" and I loved it.
It was the first time in a very long time that I actually felt a little better and decided to post about it.
There is so much going that it's been really stressful. The worst thing is something I cant talk about until the thing has been resolved.
More coming soon.
Love & Peace
I'm really struggling to pull myself up at the moment it's not good.
I will do my best but I'm not going push so hard that I get worse.
When those days start coming I have noticed just recently. Since coming out of a spiral through crying and releasing the tension that these days are actually a warning midway through my cycle.
I don't mean like a day or two before but literally two weeks before if not more than that.
I know that every one is different. I have cerebral palsy and endometriosis which both contribute.
But have you noticed those days when you either are angry really or in a bad place because of your own hormonal balance?
It's been said that these are, pmt (premenstrual tension) moods and hormonally related. Do you find this?
Personally I think that it's just part of the problem. Sometimes it's a situation that you are having to deal with on a long term basis.
It could be a financial issue or something like that as well as the emotional side of things that you are dealing with day to day and the pressure of what's going on doesn't have a pressure valve like some.
The valve I'm talking about is the ability to put it out of your mind and carry on with other things without stressing about them.
With me it could be something completely mundane that needs doing that I can't do which turns my mood into frustration then guilt and depression because I can't do it.
Do you have something like that?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this and what you do to release the tension!
Love & Peace
Do you ever feel like that?
Its a horrible feeling thinking that you are not worth anything to the people around you, even though you know in your heart of hearts that you are worth everything to them.
The thing I do in these situations is sleep as much as possible. Sometimes when I can't do that because of whatever is going on I try to listen to some music or read a book.
It is ok to feel that way though because no one is perfect and can do everything no matter what they think.
If everyone was perfect, life would be boring and none descript. Meaning everyone would be the same.
Do you have a safe zone where you can go to heal?
My favourite place is my bed where I can hide and recharge by sleeping or reading. If on the other hand, I have to be semi-available I have a shower and do a few minutes meditation just to try clear my head.
Where's your favourite place?
Don't keep things under wraps speak to someone about your feelings and what is happening because you are worth it and so much more.
Love and Peace
Love and Peace
Its really difficult trying to push through because there's so much doing. Running a home with cerebral palsy as a distraction is no fun.
Learning to let go of the things that I can't take control of is one of the hardest things as I realise that my body is slowly getting worn out.
You may say that every one wears out while living which is normal. Yes that is the case.
However cerebral palsy makes the amount of energy that is used even for the smallest of tasks ten times as much. So this means that the body is properly ten years older inside than the body you see.
I get frustrated with the problems because I find things harder to do the older I get.
I have mentioned this before in previous posts such as Playing in the Snow and Changes that make me about cerebral palsy and its affects on me. I don't try to let it get me yet sometimes it really does.
So if you are having a low day it's OK. Listen to your body and rest as much as possible because it's trying to tell you that you need a bit of you time.
Love and Peace
So I will be going back to what I know and love the most. While dealing with life as a disabled person going through moods of depression and anxiety.
Love and Peace
What is your technique?
Do you have one?
Do you use it often?
I would love to know what you think about having a technique to help you in your low times?
Love and Peace
Mental health is something that should never be taken for granted as it can change at any moment. I have suffered from poor mental health from an early age. Although I wasn't diagnosed until I was 30 and for me, there are so many triggers that sometimes it can incredibly difficult to do anything. I have the most amazing support in the form of my hubby and kids. For them, I am eternally grateful and always will be.
Having cerebral palsy has many challenges that are not all obvious because it covers so many aspects of life not, just the physical.
I have ataxia, spastic and dyapligic cerebral palsy which means that it is all over my body in a zigzag pattern. At the same time, it causes spasms in muscles whilst also making the tone of them over tight. So as I get older the pain causes more anger and depression because it forces my body to not be able to do things that I had been able to do even a month before. Even the weather causes changes which means that even if it is hot or cold I may be able to or not do things.
So with all those challenges, my attitude does change from hour to hour and I can be a real pain to be with when I feel to be at the lowest I can be.
Back in January, I changed the company I was working with and a lot has changed.
First of all, I got my first promotion and then for three months I kept the level of promotion then today I got the second promotion I had wanted and I am extremely grateful for all those who helped me get to the stage where I am now.
I have already have blogged about the company and what it does. I am planning more blogs and hope to do them more regularly along with videos on my youtube channel.
I do have a question for you all!
What should I blog about?
Love and Peace
I love days like the last few as I have been doing loads of personal growth. The kids are home and are at an age where they can do their own thing but still need me. Things are taking their time but that's ok I have been dealing with a very bad bout of depression. My cerebral palsy has changed me again making me feel that I am losing my independence bit by bit but I am fighting back. I am learn to do things a different way and learning to accept a bit of help.
Paths are never straightforward but I am beginning to do more with what I have got. Yes "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne has helped me but there is many other facets that have. Sir Richard Branson's book "Screw It Let's do it" has given me hope that grabbing whatever comes along and taking every chance I can to get what I want. Because I know I need to be able to do things.
So posting where I am working from and being able to be grateful for what I have and show it is a way to be positive for what I do have.
Questions was the first book I wrote and self published back in September/October 2015. I was encouraged by a fellow self published author #Shannon Perry who said that I could do what I had always dreamed of doing. And that #Amozon or #Lulu could help me make the dream a reality. As a busy mum with Cerebral Palsy I have limited time to write and decided to write a small book of poems about my thoughts on life.
These include depression, being a mum, cerebral palsy, racial equality and feelings in general.
I looked into using #Lulu self publishing company however I struggled going through the process so used #Amazon and used their process which I found easy to use so have stuck with that program to follow my dream to be an author. Below is a link to my book on Amazon.
Questions By Lizzie Hare
Today has been a positive day and I am grateful for my friend who came to visit and now I can plan things a bit. I had forgotten that I can do things on my phone for a while rather than just sitting at the laptop and writing. I am at a good place now and although I have a few days where I feel down things are getting better, my life has more of a purpose and I am looking forward to the future. I am very lucky to have my friends as many walked away when I left school and did further education. Some of these friends are relatively new and I am extremely grateful to have them.
This is one of the latest books written by Shannon Perry, a young person who has a wise head on her shoulders. She talks about different types of depression that are riddled with taboo and shakes them out for everyone to see. It is a book not to be put down until finished. I totally love it and recommend it.
I bought loads of things for the members of my family and found that I had miscalculated things so completely threw my feelings to do a u-turn.
I have been feeling like poo since then. This week has been a good one other than that so why now?
Yeah I know I should have waited for everything else to be sorted before being generous. This bout of depression will pass but it's not fair all I wanted to be as generous and happy but no something has got to throw a spanner in the works. I will be better but today is just the worse at the moment.
Love & Peace
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